Forgive Me
by Jamie Love
Summary: Compainion to Always Thought I'd See You Again. Oneshot, songfic. Artemis sits in jail and thinks about what he did. To the song Forgive Me by Godsmack. Sort of twisted AH pairing.


**A/N: I decided to write this because A) I was bored out of my mind, and B) I just wanted to. it's a companion to Always Thought I'd See You Again. It's kind of dark. This one is about the same incident, only its Artemis thinking about what happened. Make sure you read the lyrics, it took forever to find just the right ones. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: The lyrics are the song "Forgive Me" by Godsmack, the characters are from Eoin Colfer, and I don't pretend to own any of them.**

**There's nothing to me now. An empty shell unfolded.  
How, when we learn to pray inside our demons are laughing  
How long will this go on? Are we a bit much stronger?  
Do you think you can save me from living this way?**

Artemis lay on his prison cot, staring blankly at the ceiling. One month. He had been there one month. In that time, he had barely slept, spoken not a single word, and only eaten when he was forced to. He didn't see the point. In anything. He didn't want to live. He didn't deserve to. Not after what he had done.

**I don't know how to love. I just know how to live.  
All I feel is hate. Will you forgive me?**

He kept himself locked in his cell as much as possible. He didn't want to face anyone. He deserved so much worse then this. He had killed her. Killed the most beautiful woman on or under the earth. And destroyed his relationship with the only person who had always been there for him. But that wasn't his fault! It was Butler's. Butler had betrayed him! Right?

**For all those things I've done, they keep on creeping by me.  
And though we've changed our ways,  
still all our demons are laughing**.

He thought back to Holly's face. Twisted in pain as she fell to the ground. The last time he had ever seen her. Mere hours before he was thrown in prison. He plead guilty. He wasn't going to lie about what he had done. In truth, he was almost proud of it. He had shown his undying love for her. Shown her how much he cared about her. Now if only she was there to return the favor.

**How long will this go on? Aren't we a bit much stronger?  
I'd like to think you've came into my life to stay.**

He was torn by a mixture of grief and malice. He missed her terribly, and hated himself. That night, when he had set out, he had only one thought; _kill Butler, so that she will have no choice but to love me._ Now that he thought back, he knew he had been blinded by his love for her. He had meant for the bullets to reach Butler, but instead they had found their mark in his love.

**I don't know how to love. I just know how to live.  
All I feel is hate. Will you forgive me?  
I don't know how to breathe with you too far away.**

There was a rattling as the cell door slid open. "Fowl!" The guard snarled. "Get up. You've got a visitor."

Artemis stood slowly, and followed the guard to the visitor's room. A sheet of glass separated him from the visitor. He sat down slowly and picked up the phone. The visitor did the same. Artemis recognized him, and stared into his lifelong friend's face with dead eyes.

"Hello, Artemis." Butler said into the phone.

**Don't know how to love. Will you forgive me?  
No I can't live this way!  
I don't know how to love. I just know how to live.**

"Do you remember me, Artemis?"

Artemis stared at him for a long time, then opened his mouth and spoke. "Yes."

"I need you ask you something."

Artemis just started at him.

"Why did you kill her?"

**All I feel is pain. Will you forgive me?  
I don't know how to breathe with you too far away.  
I don't know how to love.**

"I had to." Artemis breathed. "I had to show her I loved her."

Butler stared into his eyes. "By killing her?"

Artemis nodded. "Yes. I had to prove to her that she couldn't be with someone. That I loved her too much."

"She didn't love you, Artemis."

"But I loved her. And I couldn't bare for her to love anyone but me."

"Whatever the reason, Artemis, it does not excuse your behavor. You have succeeded in killing the woman that you loved. That I loved."

"No." He murmured. "Your wrong. I killed her so she would love me."

Butler stood. "Goodbye Artemis."

Artemis stared at him. "Goodbye."

Butler turned and walked away, down the hall.

Artemis was lead back to his cell. He lay on his cot, staring at the ceiling. It was hours later that he spoke again. "Forgive me, Holly. Forgive me for my crime of passion."

**Past lives I've lived. Uncontrolled but sacred.  
You've finally seen all that's left of me.  
So hard to feel. So hard to breathe.  
Will you forgive me?**

**A/N: Okay, I'm not exactly sure if that helped, but I felt I needed to write it from Artemis's point of view. You see, he meant to kill Butler, but in the end thought it would be better to show Holly how much he loved her by…uh…killing her. Review please!**


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